Who Do You Love?

February, the month of love! The time when our culture sends messages of jewelry, roses, chocolates and oh yes Victoria’s Secret. Now I can’t wait for Valentines. Does having all these things or even a date mean that we are loved?

Valentine’s Day has come and gone many times for me with no jewelry, no roses, and no chocolate. 🙁 Does this mean I’m not loved? Hmmm

Our desire to be loved is THE thing we’re all really after. Not just in February, either, but all year long. We want desperately to feel good about ourselves and for the world, especially a specific someone, to tell us we’re loved. However, very few messages say look within, it’s all in here.

But that’s the truth: it is all inside. Like many, I have family, friends and a special someone who loves me. I’ve also had times of strained relationships where it was tough to give or receive much love. No matter my circumstances, I’ve learned that no one can give me love without me giving it to myself first. And no one can do that for me but me.

Being responsible for fulfilling our own need to know we’re loved means not looking to other people in our lives to do the job. When they fail (which always happens in some way), hurt and blame often follow. At the same time, when we accept responsibility for loving ourselves we sometimes feel selfish. Filling up our tank means we need to spend time focusing on ourselves. The good girl inside says always give to others first before taking care of yourself. Well, the good girl isn’t quite right. Instead, take some wisdom from the airplane safety message: “In case of loss of cabin air pressure, put your mask on first before helping others.” Love yourself first and then you’ll be best equipped to love and help others.

Take this designated month of love and like the song lyrics ask yourself “Who you do love?” Are you the first person who comes to mind? Perhaps it’s time to make some internal adjustment. By loving yourself you give yourself and others the biggest gift possible.

Written with love.